When I was younger, there were many families who trusted me to babysit their children and I was perfectly capable of doing so, but that doesn’t mean I enjoyed every second of it. However, I did appreciate the extra money because I didn’t receive an allowance as a child (did I, Mom? I forget) and I have always loved the feeling of spending my hard earned money on whatever the hell I want. But please don’t judge me when I tell you that even as a 12 year old babysitter, I never felt as though I was given the desire to become a mother. And guess what? That’s really okay.
You might think I’m just a selfish, heartless person for being much more interested in exploring the world, going on spontaneous adventures, and living out every career goal I’ve ever dreamt of as opposed to spending my free time doing all of the incredibly selfless things that parents do. I have the utmost respect for every person out there who is raising children. It’s probably the hardest job in the world, but it doesn’t mean it’s a job for everyone.
If I had a dollar for every time someone said, “You’ll change your mind when you meet the right person” then I could probably travel the world from all the dollars I collect. And maybe I will change my mind. But I am pretty confident that when I do meet the right person, they’ll have just as much of a sense of adventure that I will be even more excited to hop on a plane and discover somewhere new because I’ll always have someone really awesome to do that with, whenever we want.
Now don’t get me wrong, there are a handful of children I genuinely love but not in the way that makes me want to have my own. I love them because I love their parents and so naturally, they become special to me. When I was about to become an aunt, my boss Leslie warned me that I would be so overly obsessed with my niece I wouldn’t even understand the feeling. I didn’t really believe her, until that perfect little girl entered the world. And then came another one. I dream of the day I can take them on adventures and see their faces light up when I spend way too much money to ensure they have the most incredible time with their obviously favorite aunt (sorry Laney). But do you want to know what else I love about that scenario? I can give them right back to my sister and brother in law and find myself snuggled up in my downtown apartment, sipping wine and planning my next adventure without having to budget for diapers or worry about that whole “pump and dump” situation when you’re breastfeeding. That sounds terrible, especially after nine months of sobriety. So unfair.
I’m not entirely sure I won’t have a child because it is completely out of my control. If I’m meant to reproduce, God will reveal that to me one day. And if that does happen, I’ll probably hear “I told you so” more than anyone in the world. But for now, I am perfectly content imagining my life staying the way it is at this very moment, with a little more income and maybe a significant other added in. But I really only need those things in order to have better adventures. 😉
So if you’re the person who can’t imagine not having a child, let’s not judge each other for being different. I would like to suggest that you go plan a trip if it’s been awhile since you’ve gotten on a plane. And I’ll go FaceTime my nieces while you do that.