Deidre DeFelice

I think it’s safe to say that most people partake in the act of dating for the same reason: to find the person you’re going to marry. It’s not an easy journey for most, but the thought of actually stumbling upon that one person you are meant to spend the rest of your life with makes the reoccurrence of awkward first dates somehow a little bit more bearable.

Living in a city full of young, ambitious 30-somethings, you might be surprised to learn how many of the men seem to have no desire to settle down. I’m sure Nashville isn’t the only place full of guys who don’t want to give up their “freedom” of doing literally whatever the hell they want, but it seems to be a common trait in men here.

I quickly realized how many guys are out there actively dating yet have no desire to actually get married anytime soon, if ever at all. But, wait. Didn’t we already agree that the point of dating is to find the person you’re going to marry? Call me old school, but that’s why I was out there dating and that’s the reason my single girlfriends are as well.

So why are there so many guys who never make it past the point of simply dating a girl? Many are successful, attractive, active, and seem like the perfect catch. But after awhile you notice that they are also selfish, lazy, and definitely not marriage material. These are the guys who date you because they want someone to show up to a party with. They date you to keep their parents from harassing them about being 36 and single. (If they’re even older than that, run far away.) They date you because you become comfortable, but they don’t want to marry you or they would freaking marry you.

If you’re dating that guy, please don’t go beating yourself up about it. Most of the time it’s hard to not date them because all the good qualities they possess may seem to outweigh the bad, but when it comes down to it- no one wants to be the 30-something year old girl who still doesn’t have a ring five years later. You can’t argue with me about that.

The truth is, the guys who are genuinely dating you because they see a future with you won’t be shy about it. They won’t be afraid to bring up the topic of marriage and they’ll be open about how they feel. They will respect you enough to not waste your time, and eventually finding this kind of guy is the reason you need to allow yourself to keep dating, even if your luck hasn’t always been the best.

I’m fully aware that my situation is pretty rare, so I don’t expect everyone else to meet the right person and get married to them over a period of seven short months. I know it usually takes longer than that. But our story is pretty simple. Once we realized we both wanted the same things, felt the same way about each other, and couldn’t imagine life with anyone else, there was no point in spending anymore time dating. I spent long enough waiting for the right person, so getting married to him was the obvious next step. He felt the same way, and continues to always make sure I know how much I’m loved.

If you’re in a relationship and find yourself constantly questioning if you’re wasting your time, you probably are. I’ve been there. If you’re single and getting sick of all the awkward first dates, don’t give up! I’ve been there as well. Either way, do yourself a favor and wait for the guy who doesn’t leave you wondering what’s next. He’ll be worth the wait, trust me.

I can’t exactly remember when in life I was suddenly so inclined to constantly go out of town, but as long as I can remember I have had the desire to see new places. Discovering a city or country I’ve not yet been to gives me a one-of-a-kind thrill, fueling some type of inner excitement that only comes from getting on a plane and landing in the unknown. Although I am blessed to make a great living doing what I love, I am not someone with a disposable income who can book flights left and right without hesitation. Traveling to new places on a budget takes time and research, but if you put the work in, you’ll open up plenty of new opportunities to see the world. And you don’t have to go broke doing it. I’m going to share with you my top three secrets to traveling on a budget. You’re welcome. 🙂

 

1. Subscribe To Scott’s Cheap Flights Immediately. 

If you’re anything like me, you probably have so many different places on your bucket list that you’re always down for an adventure to almost anywhere. If so, then you definitely need to sign up for emails from Scott’s Cheap Flights. A few times a week, you’ll receive an email alerting you of flight deals to different places all over the world. Just last week, they sent out an email about flights to all over Europe in the $400’s-$500’s roundtrip from 15 different major US cities. They let you know if baggage is included or if it’s an extra charge, they direct you exactly where to go to book it, and they tell you how long they think the fares will last. Another one alerted me that you could get to Hawaii for $374 roundtrip from a handful of different US cities. Those are just two examples of the dozens of emails I have gotten from them. Because of Scott’s Cheap Flights, I knew when to book our flights to Greece. I flew to Athens this past August with my best friend Cara and our flights were $675 round trip out of NYC, bags included. No, we don’t live in New York but this is why I save up my Southwest points… for times like these. I waited for a Southwest sale and secured my flights to and from New York without adding any extra money onto my cost of airfare. The only other flight we had to purchase was to and from the island of Santorini, but those were less than $100 each way.

 

 

 

2. Download the Hotel Tonight App.

I have to say, my husband gets all the credit for secret #2 because he is the one who introduced me to Hotel Tonight while we were planning our elopement trip to Northern California. If you’re brave enough to wing it when it comes to your hotel stays, this app will literally save you hundreds. The point of Hotel Tonight is to fill hotel rooms that would otherwise be left empty. You can book through them up to a week in advance, but the prices drop significantly when you book your room the same day. We used this in Napa, Santa Rosa and San Fransisco and each time waited until the day of to book a room. There were tons of last minute options and each hotel we chose was a 4 star property. When we were in San Fran, we stayed in a trendy little boutique hotel right in Union Square for $130/night. If you know anything about San Fransisco, you know nothing is cheap there so that was literally a steal. I have to say it was kind of nice not having to plan everything ahead of time. (PS: Use code DEDEFELICE to get $25 off your first Hotel Tonight booking! Download the app here to redeem!)

 

3. Use Google Flights For International Travel

If you follow me on Instagram, you probably already know that Jordan and I recently planned our delayed honeymoon trip for this upcoming April. We wanted to make sure we went places neither of us have been, and we weren’t about to settle for an average beach honeymoon trip. We both have the same sense of adventure and love to discover new places in all different climates. A few hours on Google Flights and a couple bottles of wine later, all of our flights were secured. We are going from Boston to Iceland to Norway to Switzerland to Spain, and then back to Boston and finally, back to Nashville. All of those flights (misc fees, taxes and baggage included) cost us $1,554 total for both of us combined. Yes, that’s less than $800 each and we’re visiting four new countries! We had no idea exactly where we wanted to go when we started doing research for this trip. Google Flights allows you to put in your departure date and city, then pull up a map of the world and view prices to all different major cities from the set departure city. This is how we mapped out the order and timeline of the countries we are visiting, by the price of a one-way flight from the previous destination. (That sounds confusing, but it’s super easy!) It took a lot of trial and error with a bunch of different destinations, but we finally agreed on all four countries and we couldn’t be more excited for this trip!!

 

I challenge you to pack your bags and visit at least one new country in 2018 because trust me when I say, traveling does something to you that no other life experience can and I don’t think anyone should miss out on that feeling. There is so much world out there to see, so let me be the proof you need to believe that you don’t have to be a millionaire to see it. Now go make sure your passport is up to date, and don’t hesitate to email me if you have any questions about any of the secrets I’ve shared!

 

As someone whose career consists of making women feel beautiful on their wedding day, you may be surprised to learn that I’ve never been one of those girls who has dreamt of her big day since she was five. My mother doesn’t have a photo of me playing dress up in a white gown and I just recently learned all the different diamond cuts and shapes. I think I was too busy dreaming up my next adventure or career goal to even start daydreaming about a ring, dress, venue, hairstyle and bridal party, to name a few. So when I finally met Mr. Right at the perfect age of 30, we were both so excited to just be married and spend our days together that wasting a whole year of life planning a big wedding and dropping thousands and thousands of hard earned dollars on one day sounded absolutely unbearable.

Once we started the discussion of marriage, we immediately realized we would have to either have a huge Nashville wedding with 300+ guests or else just simply elope with absolutely no guest list. Clearly, we chose the second option and I’m about to tell you why it will forever be the best decision ever.

A week after we got engaged, we closed on our very first house together and one week after that, we had a trip to Northern California planned to attend the wedding of our friends Matt and Mikaelaa. When we told Mikaelaa we were thinking of eloping, she reminded us that she happens to be ordained and said she would love to be the one to marry us. So as it turns out, she ended up being our officiant the day after her very own wedding. (Talk about a true friend!) Her hot pink hair and slight hangover made the day perfectly laidback and her new husband, Matt was our witness. I honestly wouldn’t change a thing.

Now, let’s rewind for a second. I am a typical girl in some ways. I wanted to find a stunning location, an incredible photographer, the perfect white dress, write our own vows and do a first look. Even with less than two weeks to plan this thing, we did stick to those traditional wedding practices and I’m so glad we did.

I googled “Northern California Elopement Photographer” and by the grace of God, I stumbled upon the incredible Jess Rankin who happened to be available on our date. Her photos are so unbelievably artistic and unique that you can’t stop scrolling through them. That is exactly what we wanted for our photos and that is exactly what she gave us. You wouldn’t believe the amount of people who have commented on the beauty of our wedding photos. (Jess, you are a true artist!) I also started googling to find resorts on the Sonoma coast that were close to Mikaelaa’s wedding venue so we wouldn’t have to travel too far the day after their wedding. A 45 minute drive took us to the extraordinarily stunning Timber Cove Resort. It was everything I had hoped it would be, and then some. I’ve told everyone I know to take a romantic weekend getaway there ASAP.

Now, let’s talk about the dress. I was planning on ordering a simple white long-sleeved lace dress that I found on Lulus.com for $70 until I found this one. I didn’t want to be overly glam, but I wanted something pretty and kind of simple that still looked like me. I happened to stumble upon the dress at UAL, which is sort of the TJ Maxx of designer clothing. They get last season items or department store returns, but it’s all different random designers, and you have to really dig to find all the hidden gems. This happened to be one of the few white dresses they had and it fit like a glove, didn’t need any alterations, and happened to be on major clearance for $14. Winning. (The designer is Jarlo London.) I asked my mother to mail me a simple necklace and ring that belonged to my Grandmother to complete the look. Oh, and yes I did my own hair and makeup. Obvi.

 

I made sure Jordan didn’t get a peek at my dress before our wedding day, and I didn’t see his outfit before then either. One thing I absolutely love about traditional weddings is seeing the first look photos. They get me every time, so I wanted to make sure he was genuinely surprised at what I looked like when we did ours. It ended up being one of my favorite images because Jess so flawlessly captured Jordan’s emotion. I remember him telling me, “You’ve never looked more beautiful” and then I’m sure he said something inappropriate when I turned around, like “Dang, that ass.” HAHAHA. But, really.

Moving on to the vows. Since I’m a writer, I obviously wouldn’t settle for some basic “repeat after me” vows. We were both on board for writing our own so they would be genuine, authentic and straight from the heart. I promised to embrace football (Go 49ers!) and he promised to be my personal photographer. Okay there was a lot more than that, but those were the highlights. 🙂

Our love story has taught me the true meaning of getting married. It’s not about a big fancy party with all of your friends and family. It’s not about a $5,000 designer gown that you wear once. When we decided to run away and get married two weeks after we got engaged, some people were genuinely shocked (although many weren’t) and others assumed I was pregnant (definitely not the case!) but when it comes down to it, we genuinely just couldn’t wait to start our life together. It’s as simple as that. We both knew God had worked in each of our lives and prepared us for each other before we finally met. So when we eventually had that first date (he chased after me for a year prior) it didn’t take us long to realize that we had each found the person we had been praying for and we didn’t want to live another minute without each other. That’s what getting married is all about. There’s no timeline you have to follow when God reveals His plan to you. And if you want to have a huge wedding followed by a wild party, please do and don’t forget to invite us because we’re like, really fun. But if you want to keep it simple, save your money and take my advice. Find a beautiful destination, run away with the love of your life and don’t worry what anyone else thinks because it’s not about them. Just make sure you have a photographer and plenty of champagne. 🙂