Deidre DeFelice

As someone whose career consists of making women feel beautiful on their wedding day, you may be surprised to learn that I’ve never been one of those girls who has dreamt of her big day since she was five. My mother doesn’t have a photo of me playing dress up in a white gown and I just recently learned all the different diamond cuts and shapes. I think I was too busy dreaming up my next adventure or career goal to even start daydreaming about a ring, dress, venue, hairstyle and bridal party, to name a few. So when I finally met Mr. Right at the perfect age of 30, we were both so excited to just be married and spend our days together that wasting a whole year of life planning a big wedding and dropping thousands and thousands of hard earned dollars on one day sounded absolutely unbearable.

Once we started the discussion of marriage, we immediately realized we would have to either have a huge Nashville wedding with 300+ guests or else just simply elope with absolutely no guest list. Clearly, we chose the second option and I’m about to tell you why it will forever be the best decision ever.

A week after we got engaged, we closed on our very first house together and one week after that, we had a trip to Northern California planned to attend the wedding of our friends Matt and Mikaelaa. When we told Mikaelaa we were thinking of eloping, she reminded us that she happens to be ordained and said she would love to be the one to marry us. So as it turns out, she ended up being our officiant the day after her very own wedding. (Talk about a true friend!) Her hot pink hair and slight hangover made the day perfectly laidback and her new husband, Matt was our witness. I honestly wouldn’t change a thing.

Now, let’s rewind for a second. I am a typical girl in some ways. I wanted to find a stunning location, an incredible photographer, the perfect white dress, write our own vows and do a first look. Even with less than two weeks to plan this thing, we did stick to those traditional wedding practices and I’m so glad we did.

I googled “Northern California Elopement Photographer” and by the grace of God, I stumbled upon the incredible Jess Rankin who happened to be available on our date. Her photos are so unbelievably artistic and unique that you can’t stop scrolling through them. That is exactly what we wanted for our photos and that is exactly what she gave us. You wouldn’t believe the amount of people who have commented on the beauty of our wedding photos. (Jess, you are a true artist!) I also started googling to find resorts on the Sonoma coast that were close to Mikaelaa’s wedding venue so we wouldn’t have to travel too far the day after their wedding. A 45 minute drive took us to the extraordinarily stunning Timber Cove Resort. It was everything I had hoped it would be, and then some. I’ve told everyone I know to take a romantic weekend getaway there ASAP.

Now, let’s talk about the dress. I was planning on ordering a simple white long-sleeved lace dress that I found on Lulus.com for $70 until I found this one. I didn’t want to be overly glam, but I wanted something pretty and kind of simple that still looked like me. I happened to stumble upon the dress at UAL, which is sort of the TJ Maxx of designer clothing. They get last season items or department store returns, but it’s all different random designers, and you have to really dig to find all the hidden gems. This happened to be one of the few white dresses they had and it fit like a glove, didn’t need any alterations, and happened to be on major clearance for $14. Winning. (The designer is Jarlo London.) I asked my mother to mail me a simple necklace and ring that belonged to my Grandmother to complete the look. Oh, and yes I did my own hair and makeup. Obvi.

 

I made sure Jordan didn’t get a peek at my dress before our wedding day, and I didn’t see his outfit before then either. One thing I absolutely love about traditional weddings is seeing the first look photos. They get me every time, so I wanted to make sure he was genuinely surprised at what I looked like when we did ours. It ended up being one of my favorite images because Jess so flawlessly captured Jordan’s emotion. I remember him telling me, “You’ve never looked more beautiful” and then I’m sure he said something inappropriate when I turned around, like “Dang, that ass.” HAHAHA. But, really.

Moving on to the vows. Since I’m a writer, I obviously wouldn’t settle for some basic “repeat after me” vows. We were both on board for writing our own so they would be genuine, authentic and straight from the heart. I promised to embrace football (Go 49ers!) and he promised to be my personal photographer. Okay there was a lot more than that, but those were the highlights. 🙂

Our love story has taught me the true meaning of getting married. It’s not about a big fancy party with all of your friends and family. It’s not about a $5,000 designer gown that you wear once. When we decided to run away and get married two weeks after we got engaged, some people were genuinely shocked (although many weren’t) and others assumed I was pregnant (definitely not the case!) but when it comes down to it, we genuinely just couldn’t wait to start our life together. It’s as simple as that. We both knew God had worked in each of our lives and prepared us for each other before we finally met. So when we eventually had that first date (he chased after me for a year prior) it didn’t take us long to realize that we had each found the person we had been praying for and we didn’t want to live another minute without each other. That’s what getting married is all about. There’s no timeline you have to follow when God reveals His plan to you. And if you want to have a huge wedding followed by a wild party, please do and don’t forget to invite us because we’re like, really fun. But if you want to keep it simple, save your money and take my advice. Find a beautiful destination, run away with the love of your life and don’t worry what anyone else thinks because it’s not about them. Just make sure you have a photographer and plenty of champagne. 🙂

 

 

How often on a day to day basis do you wish time would stand still and how often are you wanting it to hurry up and pass? The truth is, we all have a love/hate relationship with time. The magical part is that we never know when “the right time” for anything will be, and the mystery of that is what makes life so exciting.

Although it always moves at the same exact speed, time seemed to fly by this past year and I’ve recently been hit with the crazy realization of how much really can happen in just one short year.

For those of you who have been on this blogging journey with me since I launched it in April of 2016, you have been with me through one of the most transformational years of my life. When I started to share my writing, I obviously had no idea that this past year would be so significant.

Looking back on previous posts I had published made me realize that I not only shared with you my first time falling in love, but my first real heartbreak (and getting over it), entering a new decade and then learning countless things from all of it.

One year ago, there’s not a chance in hell I would have thought my life would be where it is today. And that is what is so incredible about that little thing called time. Nothing ever stays the same and just like that, everything can change. Now don’t get me wrong, time isn’t always on our side. It can be a bitch, but only if you allow it to be.

Let’s say you’re dating someone who is unable to fully commit. It’s not because it’s the wrong time; it’s because you’re with the wrong person. Devoting more time to something or someone you’ve always been incredibly unsure about isn’t going to solve the problem.

If you’re always longing for something to change or waiting for the next big thing to happen, you’re becoming a slave to time. I’ve done it plenty of times and so have you. But sometimes we miss what’s happening in the present moment because we’re so busy wishing for what’s next.

During that whole heartbreak period, I would sit home and cry, listening to sad country songs while drinking wine and feeling sorry for myself because I was sure I’d be single forever. One year later and everything is the exact opposite. I listen to cheesy love songs (while drinking wine still obviously), daydream about my wedding and Google things like “Most Unique Honeymoon Destinations”. I realize the importance of that first heartbreak and I’ve learned to have more love than hate for that little thing called time.

When we want something to happen, we can’t force it to. We also can’t add any minutes to the day. Moral of the story? Enjoy your life exactly how it is today instead of spending each moment disappointed and waiting for the next big thing. I know, it’s easier said than done. But eventually you’ll realize why what’s happening right now is supposed to be. Time is uncontrollable and can be a bitch, but only if you allow it to be.

 

 

Ninety miles off the coast of Florida, you’ll find a country that is unlike any other, surrounded by the turquoise water of the Caribbean. It’s a place not many Americans have been, which is why I found myself intrigued to visit once the travel restrictions were temporarily lightened. Almost three months ago, while on a first date with my now boyfriend Jordan, we planned a trip to Cuba. On our third date we booked our flights and exactly one week ago we returned from an eye-opening adventure, feeling grateful for the life we live in America and concerned for the people of Cuba and the way they are forced to live.

We wanted to experience Havana in more ways than a typical tourist would by adding some local flair to our trip, so we chose to stay in an Airbnb located in a residential neighborhood right outside of the hustle and bustle of Old Havana. We were blessed with two lovely and gracious hosts, Randy and Claudia, who live just two doors down from their rental and quickly became our new Cuban friends.

Although our trip began with a two hour wait for our bags at the airport, we tried to stay positive. (Okay, Jordan stayed positive. I was hot and thirsty and whining. HA!) Randy and Claudia were outside waiting for us and still managed to greet us with big smiles when we finally made it outside with our luggage. Jordan grabbed a beer for the car ride (at the hefty price of $1) and our moods were instantly lifted as we rode in the back seat of an old fashioned American car. The warm breeze was blowing through our hair and our wide eyes were jumping from one place to another, trying hard not to miss anything that was happening outside the window.

Our first day was spent exploring Havana with Randy and Claudia. They took us on the city bus, taught us the proper hand motions to successfully hail a cab, and showed us all over their city until we were too tired to stay out any longer.

I fall in love with every new city I meet, and Havana was no exception.

One of the strangest things about Cuba (besides no cell service and being unable to use credit cards) was the fact that they don’t have toilet paper in public restrooms. It’s so hard for Cuban people to get many things to their country, even simple things like toilet paper, sunscreen and Advil that we might take for granted. So yes, I walked around with a roll of toilet paper in my purse the entire trip. But I also had a drink in my hand at all times, so YOLO.

On day two we were on our own to navigate around town, although Claudia was kind enough to arrange a car to pick us up so we could avoid having to hail a cab on our own. (Our lack of Spanish made it a little difficult to tell the drivers where to take us!) Once we made our way back into Old Havana, we found ourselves sitting outside at a little cafe, enjoying a cup of coffee and eating the only Cuban breakfast option we could find- toasted ham and cheese sandwiches.

A sweet old man was serenading us on his accordion as little kids skipped by in their school uniforms, smiling from ear to ear as they listened to the music. Although most Cubans live in poverty, there is a contagious amount of cheerfulness and joy around the city.

I suppose when you don’t know any different, you easily learn to love the life you have.

The rest of our day was spent exploring the streets of Old Havana, drinking mojitos and daiquiris in several different bars and restaurants, along with finding the best places to take photos. Drinks typically run from $1-$4. The most we payed for a daiquiri was $6, which is unheard of, but that was at the Floridita, which is where the daiquiri was invented and where Hemingway spent his days. Yes, it’s a tourist trap, but we had to do it!

 

An hour of day two was spent touring the city in the back of a pink 1948 Ford convertible as our sweet driver Ray showed us all the different neighborhoods and historical monuments. It might have ended up being one of the most fun days of my entire life so far.

The amazing thing about Cuba is that you can spend one day in the city and the next at the beach and feel as though you’re suddenly on a completely different vacation. On day three, we got up early and headed two hours east to the amazing beach town of Varadero. Luckily, we had Claudia to set us up with an amazing driver who actually had AC in his old fashioned car. We never felt more luxurious.

The clear turquoise water and white sand we found in Varadero was definitely worth the drive. There are beaches much closer, but we wanted to be sure we found the prettiest one we could. And I’d say we succeeded.

After a long day in the hot sun searching for buried treasures and taking more selfies than you can imagine, we found ourselves ready for a chill night in the neighborhood. It all started with me experiencing my first ever Cuban cigar on the patio of our apartment. I have to say, it wasn’t bad.

For dinner that night, Randy and Claudia insisted we try their favorite local restaurant, La Fondita Heredia. The shredded beef, rice and beans and fried plantains did not disappoint. If you want delicious food outside of the touristy area, this place was absolutely incredible.

On our last full day in Cuba, we couldn’t decide if we should go back to the beach or keep exploring the city so we split it up and did both. We stayed close by and visited a less glamorous but still beautiful beach about thirty minutes east of Havana called Playa Del Este. There’s nothing like a cooler full of beer, a bluetooth speaker, and crashing waves in the hot sun.

The second half of the day, we kept exploring the never ending city. Every block had something to see and the entire city was like one huge work of art. Although many buildings were crumbling, most were so beautiful to look at we couldn’t stop taking photos.

The bright colors and the friendly faces make you want to walk for hours getting lost in the culture.

We returned from Cuba last Thursday and on Friday Trump announced he was changing some of the new policies Obama had put in place when it comes to travel and trade between the US and Cuba. If you’re hoping to visit, you still can, but it won’t be as easy as it has been the past year or so. Click here to read all the details on Trump’s new travel policy, which should be official in the next couple months.

I’ll probably never find myself on a more eye-opening adventure as I travel to new places. Cuba will forever hold a special place in my heart because of this short time I spent making new friends, exploring the city and discovering what it’s like to be immersed in a completely different culture. My advice? If you get the chance to visit Cuba, take it. You won’t regret it.

Special thanks to my new favorite travel partner & extremely talented #InstagramHusband Jordan Heid for all of the incredible photos! 🙂