I’m not afraid to admit that I spent my entire twenties doing literally whatever the hell I wanted and I truly wouldn’t have it any other way. From girls nights to spontaneous trips to quiet nights in, I could make plans without having to worry about anyone but myself. It might sound selfish, but I personally think that’s exactly what that time in life is for. You figure out who you are, what you want and where you’re going. I dated plenty during that decade, but none of the guys were worth actually changing my lifestyle for.
I was thirty when I met my husband and at that point I was still existing as the typical single girl in Nashville, planning adventures and hitting up happy hours with my girlfriends. Once I realized that this guy actually was worth making some changes for, I was stuck figuring out how to balance it all and let me tell you what- this was not an easy task. No matter what type of change might occur in your life, whether it be a new job, starting a side hustle, or suddenly finding yourself in a serious relationship, it’s easy to forget that just one change can affect many other areas in your life. Between God, my job, friendships, blogging, and finally meeting my now husband, there are a few things I learned about balancing it all.
1. You Can’t Please Everyone
This was a tough lesson for me to learn because I’ve always been the person who has a hard time saying no. It might be my slight FOMO problem, but mostly it’s because I take after my father and was born a people pleaser. Disappointing someone is like a knife in the heart to me, so you can imagine how I felt when I started turning down girls brunches, hiking trips and dinners. I always swore I would never be the person who ditched their friends as soon as they started dating someone and I made every effort not to do that, but I still had to say no to certain things in order to make enough time for my relationship. Seven of my closest girlfriends in Nashville are still single (and they are all major catches if you know a good single guy) so I really had to start doing some major weekly planning in order to still make time in my life for each of them. But when it comes down to it, you have to be okay with the fact that you can’t please everyone. It’s been the hardest thing for me to get used to when it comes to finding balance. Luckily, when you have friends who understand and see you trying, everyone eventually adjusts to the change.
2. Something Might Suffer For Awhile And That’s Okay
Usually when you experience any type of new and exciting life change, it suddenly becomes your first priority which means another area of your life might get put on the back burner. Guess what? That’s perfectly okay. It’s kind of like when you purchase a new jacket and it’s suddenly the only one you wear. Eventually, you remember how awesome your other five jackets are and you put each one back in rotation. When I first met Jordan, my extra time all went to him and I didn’t write a blog post for months. I was okay with it at the time, but eventually he started encouraging me to write more because he knew it was something I genuinely enjoyed. Once I started getting a little better at balancing everything, I started writing again and I couldn’t believe the amount of people who told me they were glad I was back to blogging. It made me feel amazing. (If you were one of those people, thank you for the kind words!) I didn’t give up what I loved, but I took a small break and because it’s important to me, it made it back in rotation. Sort of like my black leather jacket. 🙂
3. Adding An Extra Thirty Minutes To Your Morning Routine Does Wonders
I could easily be scrolling on Instagram for an hour and not realize that I just spent an hour of my day scrolling on Instagram. That is entirely too much time to devote to social media in one sitting. I am one of those people who is mostly attached to my phone and because of this, I have found myself wasting precious time in the middle of the day staring at my phone instead of doing something productive, like writing a blog post or catching up with an old friend. Do you have a bad habit of sleeping until the very second you need to be getting ready in the morning? Try waking up thirty minutes earlier than normal and doing something during that thirty minutes that you don’t want to spend free time later in your day doing, like scrolling on Instagram or reading a magazine. You might be thinking, “You want me to wake up early just to play on my phone?” The answer is yes. Every morning I give myself 20-30 minutes to drink coffee and scroll on Instagram. I get all caught up and then have more time during the day to be productive and not be tempted to sit on my phone during any free time I might have. I mean, let’s be serious I still do that sometimes, but adding thirty minutes to my morning routine was a game changer.
I am definitely not the master of balancing everything in life, but the past year has taught me how to maintain what is important to me while adjusting to a huge life change. With that big change has come plenty of little changes, but once you alter your routine for something major, the little stuff is a piece of cake. You got this.