July 20, 2016

No, You Shouldn’t Sleep With Him On The First Date

By Deidre Heid

Say what you want, but the truth is, deep down every girl wants to hear the words “I can’t wait for you to meet my family.” And do you want to know why? That is the tell tale sign that he sees a future with you and considers you someone worth keeping around for longer than a few weekends.

If he’s actually interested, go home without him and he’ll still call you the next day. Photo cred: Bluegenes Photography

The problem is, even though you’re well aware that you are a great catch and worthy of hanging out with his family, you can’t rush that process. It’s going to take him a little time to realize it’s true. The number one way for you to never get a second date and definitely never be around long enough to even come close to meeting his family is to sleep with him on the first date. Or the second. Or the third. Yet so many women of all ages in today’s society feel as though that is a way to prove they are interested in the guy, or a way for them to feel better about themselves and be convinced he is interested. That just doesn’t work in the long run.

The second you make it that easy for him, he will stop pursuing you.

Any guy who is really searching for an authentic, long-term relationship is going to enjoy getting to know you, spending time with you, having meaningful conversations and being involved in a little bit of a chase. I’m not saying you should play games and make sure you wait 2 hours before you text him back. That’s all ridiculous and a waste of time. But saying how you feel in the beginning is a lot more up-front, respectful and appreciative than sleeping with someone you’ve only known for a short amount of time.

You might need to stop and ask yourself if your actions are reflecting your intentions.

If you’re constantly complaining to your friends that all you want to do is meet someone and settle down, but then you go out, get drunk, meet a great guy and go home with him, you aren’t exactly choosing actions that lead to something serious. It might seem like a good idea in the moment, but you’re going to feel even worse the next couple of weeks when you realize he’s never going to call you again because you made it pretty obvious you aren’t the type he should bring home to meet his family.

If you just want to have fun and don’t see yourself settling down anytime soon, then do your thing girl. Just don’t complain when he doesn’t ask for your number or even remember your name the next morning. Figure out your intentions, act upon those, and wait for the person who is respectful enough to pursue you for more than a drunken story they share with their friends at brunch the next day.

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