May 31, 2016

Why Is Vulnerability Such A Terrifying Act?

By Deidre Heid

There’s nothing easy about letting someone in and sharing the reasons you cry, what makes you happiest, or the daunting past you are unable to change. Why is vulnerability such a terrifying act? Because when we say how we feel, we worry the result will be someone running as far as they can in the opposite direction. It’s the fear of exposing your soul to someone who might not understand or accept it that causes us to build a wall, unable to fully express our emotions.

Imagine a world where we could read each other’s minds, knowing the exact thought someone else has during inexplicable scenarios. Wouldn’t life be so much easier if we weren’t left wondering how the other person felt after a first date? Or how bad you really hurt someone by something you said? There would be so much less complication this way, but life would also lack the conversations that lead to uncovering things about one another.

Part of the excitement of getting to know someone is discovering something new about them every time you have a conversation. Asking questions and sharing stories are part of the process of connecting with someone. These discussions definitely require some degree of vulnerability, however, you don’t just jump in raw on day one. Trust encourages vulnerability and trust is earned over time through consistent actions.

If you’re anything like me, you might not have an entire wall up but it will probably take you a little longer to start exposing your soul to another person. Something that can weather any storm takes time to build and that is the the kind of bridge you should be constructing each day in your relationships. However, you might be building that at a slower pace than someone else and you know what?

That’s okay.

Maybe you just started knocking down the wall, making the first plans to start bridging the gap between being completely guarded and altogether open. Everyone has to start somewhere. No matter where we are in that journey, there will always be a time we’re faced with the inability to be vulnerable because being scared is part of being human and exposing your deepest thoughts can be terrifying. But as your wall comes down and you share your soul, you’ll uncover things about yourself you never knew, leading to new goals and discoveries.

That’s one way to really start living. And that takes bravery.

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